
Linz, Austria (http://www.sternwarte.at) – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=6756468
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Hibiscus Tea
Preparing loose-leaf tea is a ritual. Hot water poured into a glass pot, you can watch the floral infusion bloom. A red cloud spreads throughout the reservoir. Dried petals sublimate. Pink-tinged vapor climbs up the transparent walls like a vine. Tendrils of steam escape the spout. It steeps. Minutes pass as if events in time-lapse: rosy blossoms unfold before your eyes. When long enough has gone by, you serve it. Shallow, white cups are good for hibiscus; pale clay shows off the crimson liquid. Dim the lights, sit on a couch, sip gently. Relaxation will grow inside your body like a shrub that is cared for very well.
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Hospice Notebook
Dad's Hospice Notebook His oxygen mask kept him from speaking, so they gave him a pen and a small notebook placed beside his bed. He scribbled words in order to communicate with us: my mom, fifty-one, the same age as him; my sister, who was barely a teenager; and me, a college senior, jealous of what my friends were doing back at school. The breathing machine dried out his throat, which was raw from tumors and radiation. He could not eat or drink, but asked us anyway for ice water to soothe him. Congestion in his lungs built up until he needed to remove his mask and cough into a pan someone held out for him: phlegm in dark-red globs, thick as pasta sauce. Near the end, I stayed over in his room. I recall being frightened he would die while I slept, and I did not get much rest. Eventually, though, I drifted off – when I came to, he had fallen asleep. I looked inside his notebook and saw the word “water” scrawled on a fresh page. It broke my heart. Maybe he could not have swallowed any, but I felt awful I was not awake to comfort him. For a long time after he died, I carried this notebook with me, not ready to let go. -
Retired Acrobat
Not so long ago, she was in prime shape, thrilling audiences each weekend with her solo act under the big top. Suspended from a perilous vantage high above the stage, she contorted her limber body around the trapeze and her muscles rippled from exertion. She spun wildly, flinging her braided hair like a bullwhip, and at the very end would perform a quadruple full twist to dismount, the crowd beginning to cheer before her feet had even touched the mat. One evening, her hand lingered on the bar a bit too long; she over-rotated only a few degrees, and when she landed off her mark, her pinky toe snapped in half. She smiled through the shock, taking in a well-deserved reward of thunderous applause, then exited behind the curtain after the spotlight went black, the same as every show since she could recall. What seemed a minor injury took months to heal. But worse, the memory of that imperfect finish frayed her nerves: she lost confidence in stunts she used to do with eyes closed, training was a painful chore, she missed rehearsals. Her coach grew impatient. The circus declined to renew her contract. Now in her late twenties, she tumbles through various jobs while she goes back to school. Some day she wants to be a talent scout for her home country’s gymnastics team. In the meantime, she tutors algebra, works a shift at an upscale restaurant, and freelances as a babysitter. She maintains her physique as best she can through a daily routine of exercise that starts, without fail, the hour before dawn. Once in a while, she suddenly wakes up from a recurring dream where she can still hear the sound it made when that tiny bone at the tip of her foot broke with a pop.
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Summer Retreat
At Mount Madonna, she meditated twice a day or more for an hour each time. She practiced yoga morning, noon, and night – learned how to teach others the positions. Her diet there was vegetarian: warm kitchari from an earthenware bowl, curried leafy greens with golden raisins. Alcohol and caffeine were forbidden. After a month of this, she felt divine. Then in autumn, a return to her job; high school English is more than full-time work, a mom as well with family to support. Now she yearns for that transcendence she attained, and wonders when she’ll find it again. -
Dusk in San Jose, CA
Dusk from a Balcony in San Jose (August, 2015) A man on his terrace ponders the breeze. This evening’s forecast predicts cool weather. A gentle sweep of cirrus clouds hovers in the darkening, cobalt atmosphere. Sunshine has crept down the bent horizon. Jet planes arc along the celestial dome. Stars emerge, piercing through the firmament with steel pinpricks of oscillating light. Below where he muses, his arms folded atop a metal railing, steam rises off a vacant hot tub sequestered in a gated patio. Underwater lamps make its concrete basin glow azure, an inviting shade for nighttime bathers. -
Like Vampires
Vampires On a Hot Day On hot afternoons, we live like vampires. Each window closed, Venetian blinds pulled shut against the sun and its penchant for heat. Our house this way entombed, preserving cool. Last night’s cross-ventilation of crisp air settles around us, redolent of stars’ distant brilliance in a clear sky, welcome insulation from solar radiance. Movements are conserved, appetite suppressed. We make indoors a crepuscular zone – a contrived dusk that is safe from the day. Hours later, when twilight arrives in truth, unshuttered, we open ourselves to darkness, and begin our business in earnest. -
Ghost Story
Grandma Tells Me a Ghost Story “Seven years after he died, I saw your dad standing in the doorway of my bedroom. He had on a shirt you all gave him: navy blue with a thin, burgundy stripe. His beard was trimmed short and he wasn’t wearing his glasses – you don’t need them in heaven. He smiled and took one step into the room. I couldn’t speak, although I wanted to. Grandpa’s back was turned, so he didn’t see him. I wasn’t dreaming because I hadn’t gone to sleep! It felt so nice for him to let me know he was thinking of me, my only son, and he was doing all right with The Lord.” -
Nail and Sock
How does a nail rise from the floor over the course of many days until it becomes a peril, the head no longer flush with wood able to tear holes in your socks when you shuffle along the hall between bedrooms in stocking feet? Perhaps the plank recalls itself a whole tree, before it was hewn, among others in the forest. Its fibrous grain imparts a stress, as if a muscle always flexed, that slowly pushes the nail out like a splinter squeezed from a wound – the harsh contaminant removed, flesh relieved to be rid of it, skin healing around the blemish. We take our structures for granted, believe in their static nature, yet what was meant to hold in place is refused by that which is built and morphs into a source of dishevelment.
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Bagging Groceries
Careful to put items which are well–protected and heavy, like a quart of milk, in first, saving the top for eggs or a box of crackers where they won’t get crushed under tubs of dip – foodstuff sorted by weight and how vulnerable it is as each purchase slides off the belt, is scanned at the checkout, then bagged with nimble hands by the person standing beside my cart – they smile when they finish and wish me a good day, a sincere gesture expecting no thanks, their job done thoughtfully, packing up groceries to reduce the chance of any damage: a jar of hot salsa shields the bananas, tomatoes ride above a brick of cheddar.
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Burgess Park Haiku
The old, molting duck tucks its head behind a wing and stands on one foot. That grove of redwoods beside the town library is home to a hawk. Plum trees dapple the lawn with mauve blossoms. Sunlight glistens on swimmers’ bodies in the pool. Every night, cars parked under the jacaranda are covered with seeds.